How to Find Strength: He Leads Me with Writing

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The current state of our home.

I am a mom of an almost three year old who loves Curious George. There’s one Curious George movie we have watched over and over again, it’s called Curious George Swings into Spring. The movie starts with a cheerful song. Flowers are popping up on hills of green grass. Butterflies flutter across the screen and a bunny rabbit or two hop around. I’m pretty sure?! Something like that.

It’s my favorite of the Curious George movies. It’s how I feel about Spring.

Melissa Swings into Spring could be my seasonal Spring theme song.

Even though this past Spring we were packing up and moving, it didn’t seem to phase me too much. I had some momentum, swinging from task to task.

Then Summer. And right now, there are more times than not it feels like I am sinking, sinking into Summer.

Where’s the life guard? Where’s the raft?

I am ready to be moved into our new(old) home. I am ready for the renovations to be done. But, we are in the thick of it all.

My husband, Jeff, just finished building his first home on the side of his full time job. The time, hard work, and commitment was almost too much. The light at the end of the tunnel was that normalcy would soon return to our schedules. We would take a break from “extra” projects.

But here we are again facing a huge project. In fact the projects overlapped one another. Yet, this opportunity to move and to renovate this home fell into our laps and felt like a gift from God.

The mixed feelings of thankfulness and weariness go hand in hand.

So, for now I call my friends and ask for prayer. I take things a day at a time. I wait for renewed strength. I find myself slacking in many areas right now. It’s hard not to beat myself up about it. I try to remember His mercies are new every morning.

This past winter I stumbled onto this blog post: When Crazy begins to settle  the imagined become real; notes on a new year. I could relate to how the author felt during her past year of moving and selling their home.

As I continued to read, I felt like God was giving me a vision of hope to hold onto through the hard part. Marian wrote:

“Last year was hard. I’m not gonna lie. Not in the way that cancer or real tragedy or chronic illness is hard. Not even close. It was a trip to Disneyworld compared to those things. Just hard in a very unsettled, very chaotic, so-much-stress-for-so-long sort of way. I never did get my bearings.

But the crazy thing is this. I am profoundly grateful for all of it. As I look back across the last two years, one thing is crystal clear. God fought for us and I love him for that. Loved ones fought for us too — praying for our house to sell, praying that we’d find one, praying for provision, praying that God would calm the storms.

When we’re waylaid by a season crazy, we can’t see straight and that’s normal. But now, from the vantage point of this January stillness, I look back and I could weep. I never thought we’d get here.

A year ago, I couldn’t have imagined sitting here in a different home in a real office. {Not that my tiny writing nook between my bedroom dresser and bedroom wall wasn’t its own brand of tiny-awesome. I prayed and journaled and wrote my heart out in this space.}

I couldn’t have imagined the meaningful work God brought my way and what a gift it would be to me and to my family.

I couldn’t have imagined some of the doors God opened up — to speak and share with others.

I couldn’t have imagined some of the storms that He would settle, even though all of them aren’t settled.”

I wrote that last line down in my journal. “I couldn’t have imagined some of the storms that He would settle.”

As I sat down to write tonight, I did not know where my thoughts would lead. I simply felt like I was “sinking into Summer”. That’s the thing about writing that I love; it’s one way God leads me. Tonight he led me to Marian’s words, as a reminder. I am thankful.

I come to Him weary, and He leads me. He is my gentle guide.

For me God often leads me through reading books and writing. I am curious if there are certain or unique ways God leads you? Maybe when you run, cook, host, research, organize,  or create?


* also I just want to note something special; a few months after reading Marian’s blog, she popped into my life. I signed up for a group called the Artist’s Bench, it was kind of like an e-course, art mentoring group. 8 other artist’s from all over the US were chosen to be on this artist’s bench, and Marian was one of them. It was such a neat thing for me to get to know her personally. Thankfulness

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One thought on “How to Find Strength: He Leads Me with Writing

  1. Melissa, I clicked over from Instagram, not having a clue that I’d read some of my very own words. So here I am, drinking my coffee and crying at the breakfast table. Because you’re a writer, you know what a humble offering it feels like to release your words into the world.

    To know that our words are floating around out there, ministering to other souls when we least expect it, well, it’s a gift. I’m grateful and so humbled.

    I am praying for you, that Jesus will calm the storms in your outer world and inner world during this summer that feels like chaos. I know how hard it is and you are wise to ask for prayer. Love you my dear artist friend! xoxo

    Like

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